Barcelona, Spain

Well where do I start? We toured Gaudi's masterpieces today. Gaudi was a very famous Spanish architect than started modernism in architecture. But he started it the end of 19th and beginning  of 20th century. Dude, we were just recovering from the civil war then. Daudi's works are incredible and insane at the same time. We really enjoyed the tour.

We took a boat tour of the harbor and saw a few cruise ships that had dumped out several thousand people into the city. It was crowded everywhere due to the ships. Whatever. We went to the open market which is a farmer's market of sorts. We had lunch at a place that was a bar around an outside kitchen. It was pricey and crowded. Whatever.

I'll try and post more pictures. Today is Tuesday and Thursday we fly to Madrid then to home on Sunday.

Barcelona, Spain

It's pronounced barth al own a and it is beautiful and that is where we are now. I can actually speak some of the language and the city is incredibly beautiful.  We flew from Lisboa which is literally covered in spray paint graffiti to Midrid  then to Barcelona.  I'll talk more about Barcelona tomorrow, but for now let's say that Barcelona is heads and shoulders (whatever that means) above Lisboa with this Big Ole Dumb Southern Boy.

Dude, airports in Spain are screwy. When we flew into Santiago de Compostela a couple weeks ago, the airline had two luggage claim areas for the same flight. Of course they only published one of the areas and after we awaited forever then decided to ask the conveyor belt dude where the Big Ole Dumb Gringo and the The  Bleach Blond Gringo's  bags were they told us they were over the river and through the woods to a place behind a door that said some craziness on it and with folks with guns inside. It turns out that was the international baggage area. You would think they would tell the Gringos on the Big Ole TVs huh? Noooooooooo. Well anyway today in Barcelona we tried to find our bags and found a baggage claim TV that said Belt 00. Well we walked into the room and wham goes the doors behind us locking us out of the stupid main baggage claim area. The stupid TV said Belt 00 but nooooooooo that was for somebody else. So we figured out the stupid TV was wrong and had to walk most of the way through the airport and walk backwards through security checkpoints that I thought was surely going to land us in Spanish prison. It turns out the stupid TV was wrong. But I try to look on the bright side of most situations. So if you want to walk through Barcelona's stupid airport through stupid security checkpoints backwards and not land in Spain's stupid prison then just ask me. Good ahead ask me. I'm not sore at all. Go ahead and ask me. Oh so you don't want to know. Good.

So after we got our stupid bags we got into a cab to go to the hotel. The driver gets in and starts the stupid meter at 8.40 euros which is like $11.40. What is the Sam Hill was the idjit doing? It seems the airport charges 4.20 euros per person for the convenience of catching a cab. Then the idjit charges us 2 euros to put our bags in.  The stupid short cab ride was 32 euros which is like $45. I wanted to drop kick me some idjits today. But I didn't because I would have pushed my luck since I didn't go to the stupid Spanish prison to get our stupid bags. If I had drop kicked that stupid cabbie through his stupid goal posts of life then I might have pushed my stupid luck to the point where somebody would have written a future book about Big Ole Dumb Southern Gringos in Stupid Spanish prison, and that ain't gonna happen Yall.  Idjits

We are in the Novotel Hotel on the 16th floor. Holy guacamole. The stupid birds don't fly this high. If  I squint I can see Albuquerque, New Mexico. They speak Spanish in Albuquerque you know, that's why I can see it from Spain. I really hate to point out the obvious but someone has to do it.

We took the subway to someplace Deb suggested and had dinner. The  dinner  was at a tapas restaurant in the touristy part of town. Anyway, tapas means roughly translated in Big Ole Dumb Southern Boy Spanish as little plates. Yeah it was little plates with little food but with a huge, huge price. I finally got tired and threw my stupid wallet at them and told them to get me something to eat other than a green bean (one) sauteed in fusioned extra virgin olive oil and garlic in a earthen pot that cost $10.  I kid you not. These were little plates with very little food that cost an arm and a leg. Dang, a Southern Boy can't get a break in this town.

So, it is bedtime in Big Ole Dumb Southern Boy Land.  Yall have a good day. Tomorrow we start touring Barcelona and I'm sure I'll have a few stories to share

ABye for now.

Lisboa, Portugal

Yes, I said Lisboa again. Yes we are still in Lisboa. Yes Lisboa is the correct way to spell Lisbon. Yes, we are soon to leave Lisbon--well sorta kinda. Yes I have eaten cod fish so many times I am growing gills. Yes our apartment is the height of The Tower of Babel--they speak Portuguese at the bottom and Swiss yodeling at the top where our "tree house" apartment is located. Yes you ask too many questions.

We are planning to leave Lisboa on Monday and fly to Barcelona (bar c loan a) where the Spaniards pronounce the name differently as in barth e loan a or bartz e loan a  or some hairlip way in that general neighborhood. Don't get me wrong I love Spaniards but they pronounce their Spanish a little differently. But what do Spaniards know about talking Spanish anyway? Geez here you go with the questions again.

Deb and I took a boat "cruise" around the harbor today. It was cold and windy. I thought it was going to rain on us but Deb liked it. Deb liked all 30 Euros of it ($41). The "cruise" took 1 hour and was okay. Oh well.

So I was running low in a medication so I walked into a drug store here and told them the name of the drug and the man walked in back and brought me out a box of the drug. No questions asked. It seems the druggists decide which drug you need when the doctor tells them what ails you. When I told him the name of the drug it was a drug that an old fart like me would normally take, so he didn't ask me squat. Dang I want one of these. Now drugs involving things that make your head all funky is a different manner or so I am told. I don't take stuff like that anyway unless I have a broken skull (had it), AC shoulder separation (had it), broken bones (had it), cut off fingers (had it, had it--had it twice) and a few other little problems.  Okay I have been known to take fuzzy headed drugs once, twice or 400 times in the past. Why in the living Garner am I  off on this tangent. It must be Alzheimers. I wonder if that druggist dude can help me out with that too.

I guess I should post some photos. I promise I will when I can.

Hogs and kittens,
Al

Lisboa, Portugal

Hmmm. Me thinks me have had enough cod fish. Dude, Portuguese menus have two columns. One side of the menu has cod fish dishes on it, and the other has pork dishes. I have now discovered some of the Portuguese desserts have pork in them. This Big Ole Dumb Southern Boy did eat pork once on the last unsuccessful trip to Spain because I actually could not get any food without pork in it. It seems God will still grant me 72 virgins even though I ate a piece of ham because I was forced to do so by the infidel goys.  For you humor impaired people, the last sentence is heavily encrypted with a joke so feel free to laugh. Anyway, Portuguese eat a lot of cod fish. Every restaurant serves cod fish in every possible manner of cooking. Now this Big Ole Dumb Southern Boy loves fish but I am full up on cod fish and especially cod fish with the stupid bones intact. Somebody needs to show these people how to debone fish. As expensive as cooked fish is here they could debone the stupid fish or at least give me a hug and kiss on my fish bone gouged lips. And what idjit came up with the idea to put pork into desserts? Nasty and double nasty. If I had gotten a piece of chitlin chocolate care or whatever that mess is called, I would not have been too happy and might have crammed a bone-in cod fish up someone's Portuguese butt seconds before I dropped kicked them Jesus through their goal posts of life. Pork in desserts? Nasty. Oh you nasty boys.

Man every old building has some significance to the Moors (African Muslims) kicking their butts then the Portuguese would take back their whatever and kick out the Moors, then the Moors would clean their clocks again and then the Portuguese  would clean the Moors clock. Repeat as necessary.

Well it is late and Deb is ready to do a Moors whoop butt on the Big Ole Dumb Southern Boy if I don't shut off the light. Have a great day and don't let the pork be with you.

Lisbon, Portugal

Hello from Lisbon. I would say hello in Portuguese but I have no idea how to say anything in Portuguese. As a matter of fact none of us do. We can occasionally make out words or phrases because the words sometimes resemble Spanish. No,  I no have plans on learning Portugues because I have enough trouble with Spanish.   Ramsey you should come here. You would like it.

Lisbon is built on hills, lots and lots and lots of hills. It is a challenge to walk and a tremendous challenge to drive in. The roads are not logical and were not planned nor wide enough for modern travel on anything but a goat or came. Our GPS loses it electronic mind all the time. Our "hotel" is not a hotel but an apartment that is located on a street that ONLY specialized vehicles can drive on of which cabs are one. The nearest parking space is 200 yards DOWNHILL from the apartment. So we put the bags into a cab to take them to the apartment. Our apartment is on the 4th or 5th floor with the steepest stairs I have ever been on. The stairs resemble a ladder. Holy moly.

We visited Fatima today which is one of the 3 miracles sites for Catholics. It seems 3 kids around 1916-17 were visited every month from May to October on the 13th day by the Mother Mary. Now pilgrims come here every month on the 13th but the largest group occurs on October 13th which is in a few days. I am told it will be around 100,000 people with a 1.25 million being there on the Pope's last visit. The area where they congregate is several hundred meters wide and long and barren. The crowd must be something to see. I wondered where 100,000 + people  all stay and eat for 3 days because the town can't support that many people. i guess it is a Catholic Woodstock of sorts.

Yesterday we visisted Coimbra, Portugal where thee University of Coimbra is. UC started in 1290 and is one of the oldest continuous universities in the world. I must admit it was cool to see.

It is bedtime. See Yall tomorrow.

Porto, Portugal

Alright, this is nasty. Yes I am going to talk about toilets again just like I did in Japan and China. I went to the little pilgrims' room (toilet) in Spain and in Portugal. Yes even I go to the bathroom, I try not to but try as I may sometimes it gets the better of me.  So I went to the bathroom in the bus station in Spain and the train station in Porto, Portugal and I noticed they don't put toilet seats on the throne. Dude, they have toilets but no seats. What in the world? Deb confirmed the women's toilets were seatless too. Hmmm. I thought maybe the Iberian Peninsula folks had arrived at the age old problem of why men don't put the toilet seat down. So I cranked up my powerful mind and deduced the toilet seat problem would not bother other men so my logic was severely flawed thinking it solved the toilet seat being left up by men.  So I am at  a loss. I started to give you pictures of topless crappers but that would be gauche which hasn't stopped me in the past. Hmmm.

So we went and had lunch at the "best restaurant in Porto". Dern lunch cost $60 for two people.  Holy guacamole batman. Dude, we had relatively normal dishes and it was $60. This restaurant was visible from all of Porto by a huge sign on the roof that said "Taylors" but Deb and I had a huge problem navigating on foot to this place. The roads would end in a building and we would have to backtrack, or the road would loop around and climb up Mt. Everest then go back down then climb up again. Geez Louise. We finally found it and Taylor's found our wallet. Whatever. Taylor's makes port wine but as Yall know this Big Ole Dumb Southern Boy doesn't drink. Of course that doesn't stop the Queen of My Doublewide who has a hollow leg.

We went into this church here that had wooden boards all over the floor. Now you must be saying what  is so special about that? These boards are the same size as a coffin lid for a good reason. Up until the 18th century the people buried their dead under these wooden doors then they took out the bones later and put them in crypts in another part of the church. I have a photo of a glass cover of a huge, mass style crypt that they threw in the bones if the family couldn't afford a private crypt.  Deb sort of summed it up in that the stench inside that church of rotting humans must have been mighty powerful.  After I heard that they put their dead under those doors I didn't much care about the missing toilet seats.  The rotting dead thing really and truthfully trumped the missing toilet seat thing as being nasty. Mega, mega nasty. Vomitorium nasty. Nasty, nasty, nasty. It seems they didn't bury their dead outside the church at all until the 17th or 18th century when somebody passed a law saying it was nasty and they couldn't do that anymore. Now I know that rockets hadn't been invented yet so rocket scientists wouldn't be a part of that algorithm, but don't you think somebody would have noticed grandma didn't smell very good a month after they put her "downstairs"? Nasty, nasty, nasty.

Dang I should have mentioned this before about restaurants in Portugal. It seems they have a habit of putting out food on your table when you arrive and charging you for it if you eat it. You know like bread and butter or whatever. It seems they also charge for tap water they give you. Last night they charged us for the guy playing the piano in the restaurant. Man these people are thieves. We haven't been charged for the air we breathe or the chair we sat in--yet.

Tomorrow we are taking the train for a day trip to someplace Deb and Sandra said they need to drag Waguih and me.  Whatever.  See Yall later.

Santiago de Compostela, Spain

Well we are done. We walked over 120km which is about 75 miles. We had a couple problems (Waguih's feet) and tweaking of my medication but that was all. The walk from Lavacolla was a wet one and quite foggy too. My feet were wet almost immediately because my boots were not quite dry.  We made it to the church a little late for pilgrims mass but made it to the 7:30pm mass where the botafumera flew.  The service was very nice.  I took part in part of the pilgrim rituals but not all of them . I wont bore you with the details.

Santiago de Compostela has a tremendous work of architecture called the City of Culture. This is a modern marvel that is not finished and Spain has discontinued money to finish it because Spain is broke  which you should already know if you follow the news. The library is open but has about 10% of the books it was designed to handle. The entire campus was deserted. I felt ashamed for Spain.

We are heading for Porto, Portugal via bus. Porto sounds like fun.